Title: I Was Here
Author: Gayle Forman
Pages: 270
Published date: January 2015 by Simon &
Schuster Australia
Source: Publisher
Synopsis (from publisher):
From the bestselling author of If I Stay -
this summer's YA blockbuster film.
This characteristically powerful novel
follows eighteen-year-old Cody Reynolds in the months following her best
friend's shocking suicide.
As Cody numbly searches for answers as to
why Meg took her own life, she begins a journey of self-discovery which takes
her to a terrifying precipice, and forces her to question not only her
relationship with the Meg she thought she knew, but her own understanding of
life, love, death and forgiveness.
A phenomenally moving story, I Was Here
explores the sadly all-too-familiar issue of suicide and self-harm, addressing
it in an authentic way with sensitivity and honesty
Review:
I’ve heard only good things about Gayle
Forman’s books, specifically for If I Stay,
which has been on my TBR list for a few years. It’s one of those books people
tend to gush about and even the I Was
Here proof copy included If I Stay
praise such as: “intensely moving” and “Forman knows how to write emotion”. So
I dove into I Was Here—with its
very similar sounding name—expecting comparable results. Unfortunately, I was
not as enraptured by the tale as I'd hoped to be.
Starting I Was Here after Meg’s suicide means we’re only told of Meg
and Cody’s friendship through dialogue and flashbacks. And while we only get a
glimpse of Meg, I felt invested in her story, wanting to know more about the
girl that had decided to take her own life. I
Was Here takes a rather dark turn about a third of the way through and I
felt more engaged with the mystery surrounding Meg’s suicide than Cody’s journey
through her grief. Why had Meg chosen to take her life? And why had she kept
her best friend in the dark about her depression?
Forman has a very distinct style, almost impassive and detached, in I
Was Here. This cleverly mimics Cody’s numb response to her best friend’s
suicide. It’s clear to the reader that this is just Cody’s
coping mechanism, and not related to her close connection to her best friend. We know that Cody is going to eventually break, and when she does, she’ll
shatter. Unfortunately though, this distance from her emotions for most of the novel, makes Cody difficult to relate to.
Where Meg leaps off the page, Cody feels
too removed from the reader. I understand Forman’s intention by writing Cody
this way, as this is the way she was dealing with her grief, however I felt like I needed more of her feelings, to feel immersed in the story. I wanted to cry with Cody. I wanted to get angry with
her. Unfortunately, I did neither.
I found I
Was Here a difficult book to read. It’s somber and sad and only a little
bit uplifting towards the end. There is an element of romance in the book, however
it felt unnecessary to the plot and was therefore not as meaningful as it could have been.
Yet there are many important messages in the
book, which shouldn’t be overlooked. To me, the most important message is to
not treat depression like an ugly secret, something to be hidden from friends
and family. Instead, depression should be dealt with openly—and without judgment.
I really admire Forman for tackling mental health issues in this way and she
navigates the tricky subject matter with care, without shying away from the
darker content.
While I
Was Here was not the book for me, I would recommend it to those who don’t
mind a more quiet, somber tale where the happily ever after is tainted by the
often harsh realities of the world.
*Many thanks to Simon & Schuster Australia for the advanced proof.
